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Critique my Usage and Licensing Wording

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crlowryjr View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote crlowryjr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Critique my Usage and Licensing Wording
    Posted: 15 January 2015 at 01:32
I've started rebuilding my online presence from the ground up, and with this new version I plan to have a dedicated Usage and Licensing page. I'm wanting to use the Creative Commons BY-NC 4.0 agreement as the basis, but for a few reasons won't be using it directly.

Please give me your thoughts on the grammar, flow, and 'clarity' of what I've written.

BTW - the formatting is still a bit off, and none of the forms or link currently work ... my goal is the get the wording down 1st and then start adding the other features and additional content.

EvilRoy.org/Usage

Thanks
Rob
---Rob Lowry
Sony a850, a7 and NiB a99 going up for sale. Min 17-35 G as well.
 



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The Toots View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote The Toots Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 January 2015 at 15:33
The formatting is fine. Looks quite nice. Wording seems a bit heavy in parts, and perhaps the whole thing is a bit much to digest baring in mind most people on the web tend to browse over the less interesting parts of a text (in my experience).

Perhaps reduce the total length of the document to ensure the bits relevant to the reader are seen?
Sony a99, Minolta Dynax 7000i & 505si, 24-70 f2.8 Sigma, Minolta 50mm f1.7, Sony 85mm f2.8, Sigma 70-200mm 2.8 OS HSM, 75-300mm Minolta
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Hobgoblin View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Hobgoblin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 January 2015 at 15:49
Under the heading Non Commercial Use it says "You may not use my image ....."

That would likely not protect you or give you a right of action against anyone if the person concerned did not use the image themselves but passed it on to another who did use it for commercial purposes with or without the knowledge of the first person.

You could of course ask a lawyer to make it watertight but that would probably be very costly.
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dumbasadoorknob View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote dumbasadoorknob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 January 2015 at 15:56
I think it's pretty good.

1..."vette" is the car: "vet" is the word you were looking for.

2..."Based on work by Rob Lowry" is enough.   Who cares whether you endorse the use or not? If it's controversial, you'll get the chance to explain and to make more customers!

3...The quasi-endorsement of "Creative Commons Licensing" highlights the problems with endorsement or not. It's really a non-endorsement because of your differences with their definition of Non-Commercial Usage but, because of your overall views, you wrote it as an endorsement. Just take it out altogether. The draft is better off without it in my view.

I approve of clearly written, well thought out documents, and yours certainly qualifies.
David
More lenses than brain cells
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crlowryjr View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote crlowryjr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 January 2015 at 20:48
Thanks for all the input so far.

In general, my writing is usually a little heavy and takes a couple of iterations to get it down to just the essentials. In the next pass I'll look to drop a few things out (like the mention of the Creative Commons and my endorsement-non-endorsement).

From a practical point of view, I want to make sure I have 'just enough' ... get it to that Goldilocks stage. While I might hope to never have to enforce my legal rights, I know the reality that we face - once an image is on the web it becomes impossible to control.

Again, thanks for the input David, the Toots and Hobgoblin
---Rob Lowry
Sony a850, a7 and NiB a99 going up for sale. Min 17-35 G as well.
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