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Lines in the Sand

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InspiredbyNature View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote InspiredbyNature Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Lines in the Sand
    Posted: 29 March 2013 at 17:33
Here is a photo from the Mesquite Sand Dunes in Death Valley. This was taken during sunrise and so the contrast was very good and gave a great texture to the sand. The leading lines really drew me to the scene, and I was looking at making the lines of the sand go through the image. I think that the image maybe should have been cropped a little from the right, but I am not sure. I think that the image also helps make it look like these might be larger dunes from above, but maybe that is just me. Do you think I succeeded in making a moody BW and got the compo right or does it still need more work? All taken with Sony A100 and Sony 16-50


Edited by InspiredbyNature - 30 March 2013 at 01:38
http://www.dvirbarkay.com/

A77: Sony 16-50, Tokina 11-16
1Dx, 1DIII: Canon 70-200/2.8 IS II, Canon 300/2.8 L IS, Canon 100/2.8L, Canon 200-400/4 L
 



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homeranger View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote homeranger Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 March 2013 at 17:55
I like it.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/skipplitt/
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Post Options Post Options   Quote @Jetsplace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 March 2013 at 23:58
What is your question about this picture besides what we think about it?
Or what can we help you with that you posted in the critic corner?
Jet
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Bob J View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Bob J Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2013 at 00:08
Works quite well, although I find it does strange things to my eyes when I look at it too long. I like the strong diagonals, but the pattern loses some focus for me over on the right.

I wonder if a higher contrast version might abstract it a little more...
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InspiredbyNature View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote InspiredbyNature Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2013 at 00:45
I just wanted to know what would make it better really, if you want to see the original I can post it. Also more contrast you say?
http://www.dvirbarkay.com/

A77: Sony 16-50, Tokina 11-16
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brettania View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote brettania Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2013 at 01:31
This forum has it own set of guidelines which you should read -- basically they involve a trade: you tell us what drew you to the scene, and what you were trying to achieve in your shot. The responders indicate whether or not they think you have succeeded, and may suggest other treatments.

Please edit your OP to provide some of the "background" that is part of the "deal", or this thread will be moved to Open Views.

You should also read this.

Finally, it would help if you told us what the Exif details are as they are not stored with the shot as posted.

Edited by brettania - 30 March 2013 at 01:34
 



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InspiredbyNature View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote InspiredbyNature Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2013 at 01:38
ok updated is it better now?
http://www.dvirbarkay.com/

A77: Sony 16-50, Tokina 11-16
1Dx, 1DIII: Canon 70-200/2.8 IS II, Canon 300/2.8 L IS, Canon 100/2.8L, Canon 200-400/4 L
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Post Options Post Options   Quote brettania Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2013 at 01:52
It's a bit "terse" still, but certainly improved.

I will leave it where it is.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote InspiredbyNature Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2013 at 02:14
with these forum rules I feel like I am back in school oh thats right I still am lol. How would you write it?
http://www.dvirbarkay.com/

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Post Options Post Options   Quote rickztahone Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2013 at 02:34
Originally posted by InspiredbyNature InspiredbyNature wrote:

with these forum rules I feel like I am back in school oh thats right I still am lol. How would you write it?


The Dyxum forum as a whole is a very open one. It is just in this particular Sub-Forum for C&C that we are a bit "by the book" because many use this section as a very vital resource to get in depth C&C.

If you've ventured over to the Open View forums you will see that we offer some of the same C&C but in a more open and less "vital" way.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that at least IME I have only used this section when I really love a shot and I want to get some honest and open constructive criticism.
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Post Options Post Options   Quote ifreedman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2013 at 02:35
Hello Inspiredbynature:

Is your name Dvir?
It's a nice shot. I'm not sure that this shot needs the same sort of thorough critique that many of the photos in the critic's corner would like. I'd say the contrast is fine. The composition is good. It's an abstract, but a fairly static scene (meaning, it's mostly the same), so you have some flexibility in how you present it, but changing viewpoint or post processing might not alter the shot dramatically.

There's a little dot in the sand on the lower right side -- about the only thing that breaks up the scene -- if you were to re-do this scene, I might put that dot closer to the rule of thirds point. I like it, as a tiny disruption to an otherwise smoothly flowing surface, although others might suggest that you eliminate it.

The sand moves nicely in diagonals. Diagonals are good in a piece like this. They add energy and movement and flow to the piece. I suppose you could play around with changing the angle of the diags by rotating the picture a bit. I'm not sure if another orientation would improve the shot much. The lines don't lead anywhere, so again you have more flexibility in how you present this shot.

Overall, I suggest that you might post more pics from this same trip to Death Valley. I'd love to see more. But I suggest that you post them to Open Views.

Welcome to Dyxum, by the way. Thanks so much for sharing your photos!

Ian
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InspiredbyNature View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote InspiredbyNature Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2013 at 02:51
thanks for all the comments, nice critique there btw, like it alot, more thorough than I could do. I will post some more B&W of death valley to the open forum soon, just running them through silver effex atm. Hope you will like them. And Yes my name is Dvir, and I am just starting photography, I have only been shooting for about 3/4 of a year, but hey I am only 16 so can only get better right. BTW I must say this forum is much nicer than the Canon one.
http://www.dvirbarkay.com/

A77: Sony 16-50, Tokina 11-16
1Dx, 1DIII: Canon 70-200/2.8 IS II, Canon 300/2.8 L IS, Canon 100/2.8L, Canon 200-400/4 L
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Post Options Post Options   Quote rickztahone Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2013 at 03:57
well congratulations for picking up the art/hobby of photography at such a young age. I wish I would have done the same at that age. We can not wait to see the rest of your Death Valley shots
a99+VG|a77+VG|a55|Nex6|HVL-56/58|minO|58 1.2|24|Tam|90|SAL||16-50|70-200|∑|50 1.4|∑| 24-70 2.8
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InspiredbyNature View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote InspiredbyNature Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 March 2013 at 04:03
yes they are coming now, and more to come, I am grateful for starting so early learned so so much the last 3/4 of year I can't imagine how it all fit, I mean who would have thought I would employ the hyperfocal distance and know how to post process even half a year ago. Just got my A700 and love it, but hoping that maybe in a year or two and with a lot of saving up maybe the A99 and the 24-70 Ziess
http://www.dvirbarkay.com/

A77: Sony 16-50, Tokina 11-16
1Dx, 1DIII: Canon 70-200/2.8 IS II, Canon 300/2.8 L IS, Canon 100/2.8L, Canon 200-400/4 L
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